To my beloved Jill – Your Poem
By Andy on our Wedding Day
I wanted to write a poem all about you,
To tell you that I love you again and again,
To capture your spirit and the things that you do,
There are so many feelings that it will contain.
Jill, you are in your own poem,
The sound of your laughter that fills the air,
Our first kiss, our first love, our first home,
Your special thoughts and the way that you care.
The fun we have as soulmates together,
The things I love about you and always will,
Your smile, your eyes, our forever,
Is why you are in your poem, Jill.
Past special memories are in your poem,
Our first holiday in Croatia was pure delight,
Then from Vegas to Sri Lanka we did roam,
Sharing happiness together felt so right.
Your poem is full of smiles and love,
Showering down from heavenly skies,
The people we learned from looking down from above,
To see the joy and warmth in our eyes.
You have a special sister in law and brother,
In your poem are Peter and Pat,
Giving us help and support like no other,
I’ve gained a brother and sister so thank you for that.
Luke and Katie – my treasured son and daughter-in-law,
Yorkshire white rose and Lancashire red rose combined,
And little ‘Millie Rose’ with her heart melting eyes and more,
They are in your poem –I think you’ll find.
Cuddles, kisses and fun will always be my life with you,
It’s perfect now and it will always be,
Our future together as man and wife with Taz too,
I will cherish you as you mean the world to me,
So Mrs England, although I know I’ve said it before,
Whatever is in front of us, I’ll look after you,
I give my word, my love and much, much more,
I cannot wait to hear you say ‘I do’
I hope you like the rhyme that I’ve written,
About our bond that will never sever,
It was just a way to convey how much I’m smitten,
Your poem is our past, our present, our forever.
Marriage is not a Board Game!
Ode to Anthony and Holly on their Wedding Day
We’re here for a celebration,
Marriage is its name,
Popular throughout the nation,
But son, it is no easy game!
Finding the love of a lifetime,
Is akin to a quest for treasure,
But today wedding bells chime,
And it gives me the greatest pleasure,
To announce that you two make,
Truly the perfect pair,
You are the icing on the cake,
My boy, Anthony, and his Holly Bear,
She’s made his life complete,
Of that you can be certain,
Who’d have thought that he would meet,
His soulmate at Board Games Club in Burton?!
One glance at her lovely face,
One flash of her lovely smile,,
He was in love!……so he packed his case,
And went to North America for a while!
They say absence makes the heart grow fonder,
And despite the distance between these two,
Though for three months he did wander,
Their love just grew and grew,
Now Holly is a veterinary nurse,
Who is partial to a waif or a stray,
Did she pick a Victory card or a Curse,
When fate sent Anthony her way?
Whatever your opinion,
Marriage was definitely on the agenda,
For they shared a passion for playing Dominion,
And Wednesday night games of Splendour,
I hope that wedded bliss will be as exciting,
About each other you will always be soppy,
And that the fantasy novel Anthony is writing,
Will sell over a million copies,
May bluebells always grow at your door,
Between you may there never be a wedge,
Enjoy the game of love forever more,
Here’s to you both – Mr and Mrs Colledge.
A wedding Rap for Grant and Sal
Now listen up folks, we’d like to say a few words,
A few stories, a few jokes,
It’s our time to be heard,
Cos we’d like to speak about two special people in the room,
Secrets we’ll leak about the bride and the groom,
As we’ve watched their love bloom,
And married life now does loom.
What can we say about vivacious Sal?
Bit of a thug back in the day,
She really was quite a gal,
Being an arse at the local park,
She thought setting fire to the grass was really quite a lark,
Once under cover armed with a lighter,
Today she’s a fun lover and not a fighter,
But on Bonfire night you’d better not invite her,
Cos it wouldn’t take too much to incite her!
Now Grant is a sweetheart, a complete gent,
A Primary School Teacher that was Heaven sent,
Serious about sport, he likes to play by the rules,
So our sort, he thinks, are totally uncool,
Cos we don’t want to know,
We make it up as we go,
How could we stoop so low?
We all got together through a love of Crossfit,
Grant wanted Sal ‘forever’ and knew this was ‘it’,
We love fitness classes, they make us feel fine,
But we also adore several glasses of wine,
Most of all we enjoy a few drinks and dinner,
That’s why we’re never going to get any thinner,
We try to be saints but really we’re sinners.
Grant and Sal’s favourite restaurant it has to be said,
Is an intimate place for two – a ‘picnic in bed’,
Nowhere else quite comes up to scratch,
Even when he decided to pop the question to his perfect match,
Whisked her to a hotel but it wasn’t great,
Then said to his fiancée; “Let’s go home, Mate”
Down on one knee in the kitchen as he just couldn’t wait,
She said yes, they set the date.
There’s something about Grant, you’ll be surprised to learn,
To ride a bike is a dream for which he truly does yearn,
Cos although he is a medal winning sporty sort,
His feet don’t reach the pedals as his legs are too short,
If he sits on the saddle, he gets in a tizzy,
He feels so high up that it makes ho go dizzy,
If Sal’s gonna teach him, she’s going to be busy!
But she’s a hardworking lass, she can do anything,
Give her a task, and she’ll always win,
Whereas she isn’t wedded to a practical guy,
He’s C.R.A.P at D.I.Y,
He couldn’t mend a drawer although he did once try,
A trip to B & Q would just mystify!
Today, you begin your married life,
After pledging your love at a bandstand in Fife,
As tonight’s joyous celebration ensues,
We hope that the Groom can hold his booze,
As forgive us if we do recall,
An Awards ceremony where Grant had quite a ball,
He drunk as much as he was able,
Including from the water jug on the table,
Then in a move that was rather rash,
Out the Fire Exit, he did dash,
Let’s not talk about the evening end,
Save to say the toilet bowl became a good friend,
He became well acquainted with the U-bend,
Any more information might offend!
But you are wonderful people, friends that are true,
We love you so much for just being you,
This ditty was really just to say,
We are totally thrilled to be part of your big day,
We wish you all the very best in life,
As you go forward as husband and wife,
You are a couple that are simply first class,
So ladies and gentlemen, let’s raise a glass,
To a love that simply cannot be surpassed.
To Grant and Sal!
Ode to my daughter, Amelia, on her Wedding Day
It was the ninth of July 1981,
Amelia – you were born – and out came the sun,
the moon and the stars for all to see,
You’re the best thing, by far, to have ever happened to me,
A better-behaved child you could not find,
Determined but not wild – you knew your own mind,
Today your life is a social whirl,
What happened to that quiet, understated, little girl?
You were a quirky kid that sometimes bent the rules,
Going missing once, playing rooky from school,
The Police were out searching and weren’t impressed with your lark,
When they found you happily sitting with pals in the park,
These days you love to party and you love to dance,
Love going to Festivals with friends when you have the chance,
But Amelia, it’s true you’re not all sweetness and light,
When it comes to being tidy – you and I start to fight!,
Top of your list was always ‘Tidy my room’,
But I’d enter with a sense of impending doom,
On holiday together, you empty your suitcase on the floor,
Is it any wonder that I can’t take it any more?
I’m not a clean freak and I don’t have OCD,
But I’d like to get ‘From Chaos to Harmony’,
Thankfully you now have a flat of your own,
That you’ve told me not to tidy! It’s a ‘Mum Free’ Zone!
Every time you see me armed with a cleaning cloth,
You get mad and want me to unleash my inner sloth!
Your Dad, Joe, and I are proud of the chick we did hatch,
We’re happy to say out loud that you’ve met your perfect match,
To see you so in love is every parent’s wish,
We’re eternally grateful to ‘Plenty of Fish’!
Rich, I’d like to talk plainly (it’s the only way I can),
I’m bloody glad she didn’t pick ‘Unicorn Man’,
Your first date was in Art House Café, I think I’d be right
In saying that, for Rich, it was love at first sight,
For Amelia, you were exactly the type she did seek,
Quirky, cool and a bit of a geek,
However a man’s attire can give many clues,
Rich, you nearly lost out on account of your shoes!
A girl wants trendy trainers not shoes naff and neat,
To think love nearly passed you by because of your feet!
But although she didn’t love your heel, toe and sole,
You had a major attribute – a beautiful mole,
Right there on your mouth so it could not be missed,
For Amelia, these were lips that just had to be kissed,
For strange as it may seem, it was one of her goals,
To marry a man with plenty of moles,
She’d coveted Ewan MacGregor, though taken, until,
She met lovely Richard who fitted the bill,
Snogging at the traffic lights is one way to get seen,
Amelia’s red light quickly turned green!
I gather on your second date, she really made you wait,
By missing both trains to be two hours late,
In Rich’s eyes though, you could do no wrong,
He waited for you patiently then serenaded you with a song,
It was in Belfast however that we knew your love was real,
When Rich proposed to Amelia up on the Big Wheel,
High in the clouds, together they did linger,
Then down to the ground with a sparkly ring on her finger,
Here you are today, now husband and wife,
And so begins a brand new chapter in your life,
Today has been the happiest of all days,
I know you’ll be happy together now and for always,
Roads you will travel together, time it will fly,
My Amelia, forever my special girl – born on the 9thJuly.
The Story of Lizzie and Harry
HR Supremo meets Oil Exec,
No surprise then that they did connect,
Lizzie thought “This guy is ace”,
“Dives, sails, flies and likes to motor race”,
Harry, worried that he was over the hill,
Got busy brushing up on his tennis skills,
Thought his advances she might spurn,
If he couldn’t deliver a backhand return,
This was a woman he was keen to impress,
She’s immaculately groomed and knows just how to dress,
Together they make a couple so fine,
with a bevy of daughters to combine,
A wedding at Drum and a visit to Mull,
Married life is anything but dull,
Soon they’ll head to the South African sun,
For a honeymoon that will be second to none,
But remember, Harry, amid this nuptial whirl.
You can’t take Glasgow out of the girl,
And while she’ll enjoy countryside so pretty,
She’ll be desperate to head back to the City,
So Congrats Harry and Lizzie on your big day,
This is just a wee ditty from friends to say,
We wish you a fun filled married life,
As you start your journey as husband and wife,
For both of you this is “Take Two’
So you know what you’re in for when you say “I do”!
There is just one thing that is crucial, of course,
That Lizzie is sure she’s had a divorce….
An ode to my husband, Adam
A chance meeting in Number 57,
An email, a date, a match made in heaven,
Leading to this day of glory,
so I wanted to share a little of our lovestory:
Our first date was dinner at East,
But my frozen jaw put pay to a feast,
Even after a rocky start,
You began to win my heart,
We decided cocktails were the order of the day,
For me and my ‘secret friend from Norway’,
In tall glasses with a shiny umbrella,
I decided then that you were my type of fella.
The waitress asked if we’d like a cocktail each,
You wanted your favourite – ‘Sex on the Beach’,
But the waitress was so awfully young,
And the words to you just wouldn’t come!
I love a Cosmopolitan, I can’t deny,
I’ve sipped them from Brighouse to Dubai,
I just can’t stop at just one or two,
So I think that you’ve bought me quite a few!
In any relationship comes the hardest part,
Be still my beating heart,
An intro to the kids was quite a dread,
As I imagined what would and could be said.
My heart soon danced and then it soared,
To know my girls and Nicky were adored,
You’ve built a wonderful rapport,
I simply couldn’t ask for more.
Then one day you said we needed to talk,
By the Canal we chose to walk,
You told me you wanted to be together for life,
And then you asked me to be your wife
Now as Mrs Hammond, it’s my cue,
To share a few things all about you,
A few little gems that friends might not know!
So this ditty allows me to give it a go.
There’s a habit to which my husband clings,
He likes to collect all sorts of things
And what never fails to amuse,
Is that they are things they he willnever ever use.
Firstly, there’s Jack Daniels whisky,
A sniff is enough to make anyone frisky,
Over 50 bottles I would think,
But you never take a drink!
You have watches ten a penny,
Why does a man have to have so many?
At the last count it was ten,
So how can you be late again?
You find Classic and sports cars a thriller,
You once owned a car called Camilla,
But I refused to get inside her!
SO you moved on to a Sammio Spyder,
You talk cars, watch cars, read about cars,
You’d quite like a car that’s been driven by stars,
I’d like a motor with a claim to fame,
As long as Camilla is not its name!
You have a love of beer and pork pies,
But they tend to contribute to size,
I will love you whether large or slim,
But today you look so handsome and trim
But don’t think that I don’t know,
That when for ‘walkies’ with Floss you go,
Into the pub you both lurk,
While I’m still hard at work!
Though together we’ve travelled far,
I know we still like driving in the car,
All around the Yorkshire Dales,
They’re our favourite holiday tales.
I’m looking forward to being Mrs Hammond, honey,
With a husband that’s charming, generous and funny,
Always thoughtful and always caring,
I’m excited about the experiences we will be sharing.
We Pine for each other when we are apart,
Going offshore nearly breaks your heart,
Willing away the hours, counting sleeps,
Then home to the one that loves you heaps!
You’ll be a wonderful husband, you’re my number one,
Just as you are a wonderful dad and son,
I’m ‘Head over Heels’ in love with you.
And I’ve ordered the hold-ups to come in a day or two! (in joke everybody!)
My darling Adam, you’re all I want you to be,
And huge congratulations on finding me,
Because I am a bloody good catch!
And together we’re a perfect match.
Oh Happy Day
Oh happy happy day,
the day that a Father gets up to say;
‘I give the hand of my daughter away’.
With the ring now on her wedding finger,
Please grant me the chance to linger
on the memories of family life,
as she leaves us to become a wife.
Oh joyous joyous day,
I remember when I was able to say;
‘Julie Louise is born today’.
Even at that age, she made us wait
By making her appearance three weeks late.
But on May 15th1977,
We were blessed with a daughter, a gift from heaven.
Oh happy happy times
of dirty nappies and nursery rhymes,
of tears, tantrums and kiddie crimes.
But even at the age of three
We knew our Julie was going to be
an independent, headstrong girl
living life in a social whirl.
Oh precious precious days
So long ago, it’s a bit of a haze,
With two daughters, no time to laze.
At school, our Julie did excel.
Such a clever, clever girl.
To do well, she is still keen
as she studies at Uni in Aberdeen.
Oh what a celebration,
A bride and groom so full of elation
And a daughter about to leave our nation
For a new life in the U.S of A
which seems so very far away
from our home in bonny Peterculter
(could you not have chosen a `local’ suitor?)
But we are glad that Kyle is the one
You’ve gained a good husband
We’ve gained a great son!
An ode to Emma and Robert on their Wedding Day
Oh what a happy, happy day
We’ve gathered together to hear Emma say;
It was on this day nine years ago,
That Robert’s heart was set aglow,
When one became two.
They’d known each other since primary school days,
But as the well known adage says:
‘Good things come to those who wait’,
When you meet a girl who makes your pulse race,
You know you’ve found that someone who is worth the chase,
A lady who is absolutely first rate.
So Robert and Emma, we can picture the scene,
When you got engaged at Harvey’s Point in 2015,
Under the stars twinkling,
And it wasn’t long before two became three,
Little Charlie filling your world with glee,
All blond hair, blue eyes and nose wrinkling.
Now Robert, you’re a devoted Dad,
The best that any little boy could have had,
You are adored,
And with a son to share your golfing passion,
You can teach him to swing in just the right fashion,
He’ll never be bored!
Beautiful Emma, you look stunning in that dress,
You’re a Chartered Accountant who never fails to impress,
Most importantly, you’re Charlie’s Mum,
You’ll be there for your boy as he grows,
When to school, university and work he goes,
And when, of course, he gets his first hole in one!
A wonderful couple is what you are,
You’ll make a marriage that is anything but below par,
You’re in it for the long game,
It’s been a privilege for us all to linger
To watch Robert place a wedding ring upon his sweetheart’s finger,
Mr and Mrs McNeill is now your name.
Oh what a happy, happy day,
We wish you a beautiful tomorrow in every way,
with little Charlie whom we all adore,
We’ll raise a glass to married life,
Emma and Robert – now you are husband and wife,
You’re a perfect three but will you soon be shouting ‘Fore!’