Ode to The Hammermen of Aberdeen

 When I informed my wife that she didn’t need to cook,

As we’d been invited out by The Aberdeen Hammermen,

She glanced at me with a rather puzzled look,

And said “My dear, could you say that again?”

Our presence is required at the Christmas Ball,

by the ‘men that wield the hammer’,

“Are you sure it’s not some kind of unruly brawl?

That sort should be in the slammer!”

Of course, I thought I should offer clarification,

That those were not the type of people we’d meet,

(Although it was with a certain trepidation,

that my good lady sat down to eat),

It’s a business network of men with crafts,

In 1587 it did form,

She shook her head and then she laughed;

“Crafty men? That’s about the norm”,

No. no. no, I did protest,

These are business leaders most esteemed,

At raising charity funds they’re quite the best,

Superior tradesmen they are deemed,

There’s wrights, there’s coopers and tailors and bakers,

And fleshers and blacksmiths no less,

There’s weavers and joiners and even shoemakers,

All with traditional skills to impress.

“Oh coopers aren’t a barrel of laughs

and it’s cobblers that shoemakers speak”’

(My wife doesn’t do opinions by halves,

and is picky about the company she keeps).

“As for tailors, I hope they’re seated far away,

They can’t stitch us up from over there!

And bakers..well, they are just like a souffle´

Nothing but a puff of hot air,

A butcher might be rather ham fisted,

And the table prone to thump”,

(I really don’t know how I resisted

to say he might appreciate a fine rump!),

But I’m delighted to say that of course, all of our hosts,

Are as charming as charming can be,

And I’d like now to propose a toast

on behalf of invited guests, my wife and me,

To the Seven Incorporated Trades of Aberdeen,

Representing modern engineering today,

With a history of craftsmanship that’s rarely seen,

You’re true gentlemen in every way,

May your hammers always accurately strike,

May you prosper one and all,

Whether butcher or baker, you are good men alike,

Wishing you good health at tonight’s Festive Ball.



A Festive Feast from Louise’s Farm Kitchen

A very merry Christmas from the Kitchen of Louise,

We’ve got meat treats galore and are eager to please,

We’re vocal about buying local – it’s happy pigs that we rear,

So about animal welfare you need have no fear,

We’re just a small business but we’re perfectly formed,

Try our sausages and bacon – beautifully warmed,

Don’t head to the supermarket, email us or call,

Take a look at our website as as we have it all,

Pork for your fork, roasting joints, a brunch box,

They make wonderful gifts – so much better than socks….

You can click and collect if you order online,

Or right to your door we’ll deliver goodies so fine,

To support local farmers, there is every good reason,

So make this year a forking good feasting season!